Updated: Oct 19, 2021
There comes a point in relationships where you have to pick your pain. What I mean by this is, you either choose to remain in the place where you are and deal with that pain, or you decided to move on and deal with that pain. Of course both are painful, but you have to decide what you are going to do for yourself. You are the one that is hurting or being bothered by what is going on, the other person may not notice or even care, that is why you must decide for yourself. Which pain now will cause you to have a better future? Is it staying in that position in your relationship? Or is better for you to feel the pain of having to move on because you know that from here it can only get better? I know that we don't want to endure pain, but I'm telling you it will come. It is how you deal with this pain that determines your outcome.
I finally had to make the decision to deal with the pain of moving on rather than dealing with the pain of staying and hoping things would work out when I knew it wasn't what he wanted. I had to become concerned about my wellbeing and happiness more than I was concerned about being in a relationship with him. There is nothing like wanting someone who doesn't want you. No one should ever have to feel that way, and if you are feeling that way, you have to do something for yourself. Please know that you can't make anyone want you, if they want to be with you, they will show it, and you will know, but if not just know that it isn't the end of the world. I know it probably feels like it because you love that person, but it'll be more than okay. Pick the pain of moving on and know that the pain that you are experiencing won't last for long. You have to make up in your mind that you aren't going to go through this anymore, and that you aren't going to feel like this anymore. You deserve better, and there is better out there for you. You have to believe that you really do deserve more than what you are receiving. You may have said or done some things that make you feel like you deserve what is happening to you, but NO!!! So what you've messed up, your past cannot dictate your future unless you let it. You deserve to be loved by someone who thinks the world of you, someone who isn't going to make you feel less than or not important, someone who is going to be there for you through the good and bad. You deserve to be with someone who is willing to fight with you, not against you! Your pain to change needs to be greater than the pain to remain the same. I know that you can do this, you can move on and be happier than you ever thought or imagined, but first you have to pick your pain. Stay where you are and endure the pain that seems to keep you unhappy, or choose the pain that you will experience through the moving on? Remember that moving on is a process, it is continual, and you won't have to stay in pain for long. It is the initial step to having a better future.
I'd rather experience temporary pain and know without a doubt that things will get better, rather than experiencing pain where I'm wishing and hoping.
What do you want for yourself?
It IS Well so Be Brave